THE SENSORY MADE SIMPLE PODCAST

Transcript

Welcome to Sensory Made Simple, a podcast dedicated to helping moms figure out how to understand your child's sensory needs and how to support them.

Whether it's tackling meltdowns, eating new foods, or just getting through the day without feeling completely drained.

Hi, I'm Dr.

Sam, a pediatric occupational therapist and busy boy mom.

And each week, I'll share simple, realistic tips that fit into your busy life.

Because believe me, I get it.

Adding one more thing to your plate feels overwhelming enough.

No complicated terms, just easy to follow strategies to help your child feel calm, confident, and understood.

So grab your coffee, chances are I've got mine too.

Pop in your earbuds, and let's figure this out together.

A little note before we begin.

Please be advised that this information in this podcast is not medical or occupational therapy advice, and is just for general and informational knowledge.

Okay, let's get to the show.

You've packed the snacks, you've timed it perfectly around naptime, you double checked the weather, you grabbed the favorite stuffed animal, and still your family outing fell apart.

You just wanted one fun, simple, happy day together, and instead ended up in a meltdown, tension, and a lot of guilt because down in your heart, you felt you had an idea that this wasn't going to work for them, and now you felt awful that you did it, even though you really did just have the best intentions.

Nobody warned you that what is supposed to be the really fun part of parenting, going to the zoo, the museum, birthday parties, just going out to dinner as a family, might actually be the hardest and most disappointing part when your child has sensory needs.

And for you, what's even harder is that you don't always feel like you can predict what is going to set them off.

You always feel like you're walking on eggshells.

You want them to have fun.

You want them to do these things.

But then it just ends up being so hard and such a disaster.

If this sounds like you, I want you to know that you are definitely not alone in this feeling, and it is also not hopeless.

There are things you can do to help.

This is an area that commonly comes up when I've spoken with my client.

So in today's episode, I wanted to shed some light on why this might actually be happening and a couple really simple things you can do to help make your family outings go a little more smoothly.

Okay, let's start digging in to why these outings are so tricky when they're supposed to be a lot of fun.

Well, unlike home, unlike our daily routine with school, which again, we already know is hard, but unlike our regular daily routine, these outings are extremely unpredictable.

They are something totally new that you don't do every day.

Maybe you're having a different breakfast on the weekends.

Maybe you're leaving the house at a different time.

Your drive is definitely different.

You're not going to the same place.

They're not seeing the same things outside of the window.

So even just getting to this new place is different.

But then once you're there, there's also not a lot of control.

So you can't control how many people are there, the volume of the crowd, the lighting.

If you're gonna go somewhere like a museum, the lighting is gonna be really harsh and fluorescent.

If you're in Florida like me, you're outside somewhere and it is so hot and so bright.

There's a lot of smells, maybe cleaning products, there are cafeteria food, something somebody brought with them.

There's a lot of different textures.

So if you go somewhere outside, you're gonna get a lot of grass.

You're gonna have these picnic areas, sticky tables, scratchy costumes at playplaces.

One of the families I worked with, they were really struggling because they tried to go to a fall festival and they wanted to go on a hayride.

And they're like, we drive in the car all the time.

Like, this shouldn't have been something challenging.

But in fact, the texture of sitting on that hay was sending alarm bells off in their son's brain.

Like, this does not feel good.

This is not enjoyable.

And even these transitions, like getting in and out of the car, standing in line to buy tickets, standing in line for any of the exhibits, or walking into like a new, loud, echoey or busy space can be super overwhelming.

With so many things being so unpredictable, a lot of the times, kids with sensory challenges, they are on alert this whole time, high alert.

And it just takes that one little thing to push them right over the edge.

And of course, we do really need to take into account your child's personal sensory processing and their personal sensory thermometer.

So if a child is already sensory sensitive, and maybe their thermometer already runs too hot, they are probably gonna get pushed over way quicker.

And for a child with sensory differences, they are constantly, almost already, on overdrive, constantly filtering out information that's coming in.

What is safe, sensory-wise?

What is too much?

What's new?

What's uncomfortable?

They are constantly evaluating for new threats, and a simple outing to us for them has a lot of demands.

So we're asking them to cope with a new, totally different sensory environment.

We're asking them to do a lot of new social expectations, like maybe they need to wait in line.

We want them to wait and smile for pictures, which we all know how much they love.

Maybe we're asking them to share with people, with friends.

They have to transition between a lot of different locations and a lot of different activities very quickly.

And then we're also asking them to manage a lot of big feelings, like leaving at the end.

Disappointment, maybe if something doesn't work out.

Over-stimulation from the environment.

So a lot of the times we think that maybe a child with sensory differences, they don't want to do these things because it's uncomfortable.

A lot of the times they do, they do want to do these fun things.

But their body is having a hard time handling everything that comes with that thing.

And then the pressure that we put on ourselves as parents often makes it a lot more challenging.

So let's be real for a second here.

You as a parent, you are just trying to provide a fun time for your child.

You just want to have fun with them.

You just want them to enjoy it.

You've probably planned the entire day with the snacks, the naps, the timing everything just right.

And you are just hoping for that one happy memory, that one happy photo.

And you might start to feel eyes on you when your child is melting down or they're hiding under a table.

And then when there's that pop or everything just goes sideways, it isn't just disappointing.

It is completely deflating because you put so much work into making this happen.

And you really, really just want your child to be happy.

And it just didn't work for your family.

And that can feel really lonely.

It often leads to fights between you and your partner.

You're seeing other families go to these places, have the best time, and you feel like you just can't get it right no matter what you do.

Well, first of all, I want to tell you that everybody that we're seeing, they don't have it all together either.

That every single kid, whether or not they have sensory differences or not, they all have a hard time with different things.

And even though these outings on Instagram, on social media, when our friends tell us about it, they seem perfect, and like they have the absolute best time, there are often a lot of hard parts that come in between that.

And it really is just figuring out how to help your personal child.

So I talk a lot about my son on here, Mr.

C.

He is now about one year old.

He absolutely loves being out of the house usually.

He loves movement.

He loves running.

He loves action, exploring new places.

But over the last couple of months, we've seen a change, kind of, I think, as he has discovered more that he's his own person.

We're growing a little bit of that separation anxiety.

And we went to the museum a week ago.

I thought we would get there, and he would just run around having the best old time.

But the second we walked in and he saw how busy it was and the lights, I don't think he really loved those overhead lights.

He immediately wanted to be held.

He didn't want to explore.

He didn't want to play.

He just ran right back to us because we are his safe people.

He felt safe with us.

And a lot of the times we look at this as a bad thing, right?

We're like, well, go just go play.

Have fun.

But what was really interesting, we held him for a little bit.

We walked around a little bit and we kind of would point things out as he was ready.

We would let him reach for things if he wanted.

And in that room, he actually never really went back down and walked around.

And that's okay.

He saw a couple things.

He had fun, but we went to a different environment.

We went outside.

As soon as we got outside, it was more open.

There were less people right back down on the floor, ready to play.

So what do I tell you that?

Well, it wasn't perfect.

Now, somebody saw the pictures of him running around outside in the splash pad.

He was having the time of his absolute life.

Somebody would look at that and they would be like, oh, my God, he had the best time.

And if somebody asked me about it, honestly, I probably wasn't thinking about the time that I was carrying around.

I was thinking about, he literally had the time of his life running.

But that doesn't mean it was all perfect.

There were hard parts, and there were parts where he was overstimulated, overwhelmed.

But knowing him, knowing what works for him, is how we still made our weekend and our outing together successful.

So it's really knowing what your child needs, so that you can make them successful in that environment.

And while every single outing might not be successful, it is going to be a learning experience.

So there's going to be a lot of trial and error in what works, where did they do well, where did they feel comfortable, how long did they need to warm up to the new place.

There's a lot of trial and error here, and I really, really encourage you, instead of looking at it as a failure, or as another thing that just didn't work, look at it as a learning experience.

What can I take away from this?

What worked?

What didn't work?

Okay, I know, as always, you are here for the tips, so let's get to it.

Tip number one, do not force it.

If we had forced him at the museum to go down in an environment he was not comfortable, we likely would have ended up without ever going outside with a total meltdown with him being really scared and not a good memory.

Instead, we let him warm up at his pace.

We showed him a couple of things.

We kind of saw how he was doing.

Sometimes kids just need a little bit of a chance to warm up to something new, and that's okay.

Think about you when you're feeling uncomfortable about a situation.

If someone tried to force you into it, would it be fun?

Likely not.

But it's okay to give your child a couple of minutes to take it in, even if they just want to sit on the sidelines watching other kids and let them go at their pace.

Maybe you can hand them something on the side.

Maybe you can point out what they're doing and talk about it.

How can you make that still enjoyable for them as they're taking everything in?

Now, on the other hand, there are a lot of kids that might want to turn right back around as soon as they see something, and they're like, nope, nope, get me out of here.

This is the one tip that I think is truly life-changing, but start with a soft landing.

Don't go straight from your car to the really busy crowd.

Give your child some time and space to transition.

Remember, children with sensory needs often need a lot more time for transitions.

So that might mean that you're in the car, and you walk towards the front of the building to buy tickets, but we don't get right in line.

Maybe we look at the line and talk about it.

Yes, it takes some more time.

Yes, I know that's frustrating, but give them some time.

Maybe we sit in the lobby for a couple minutes having a drink and a snack before we head in.

Again, kids with sensory needs, they also often don't realize when they are thirsty or hungry.

So that could be a really helpful tip when you are going in to a new thing.

Make sure that their body's needs are met first, the bathroom, the drinks, their temperature, and the food.

Give them that soft landing or that soft opening before going full-fledged into one of these really challenging new places.

So another thing you can do is you can head to the lobby, and you can start doing some of the techniques that you know, calm them down.

Maybe they like breathing activities, maybe they like animal walks.

What is something that helps get their body settled and feeling a little bit better first before we go in?

When they feel more prepared, when they feel like they know what's coming, they're more likely to succeed in that environment.

Okay, and number three, have you packed your sensory emergency kit yet?

An emergency kit, I think I talked about this two episodes ago, is a kit that you kind of have, whether it's a mental kit or a physical kit, on the go, of strategies that you know helps calm your child down in these situations.

So this emergency kit is what you pull out when you're like, oh, I see them getting dysregulated.

They need something.

And so something like that could be, oh, I see them getting really, really overstimulated.

We need to step outside for a second and let their sensory thermometer cool down a bit.

Or I had a parent who used to physically carry one of those tiny Play-Dohs around with her because her child had a really hard time waiting in line and it would cause absolute meltdowns, pushing people.

But when she carried Play-Doh, Play-Doh was a great form of proprioceptive input.

She noticed that he would just sit there pushing the Play-Doh and he was totally fine to wait in line.

So one big thing that you absolutely need to do if you have not done this is sit down and talk about with your partner or talk about to yourself what calms your child down in stressful moments.

All of that should go into a go bag that you can take with you.

If it's, you know, obviously we want to do something small that can help bring them comfort in these unfamiliar places.

I always include something like water and snacks in there as well.

And you always want to pull these out before the meltdown, before they're getting too hot, too overstimulated, and they're about to pop.

You want to bring these kind of things out when you're noticing, oh hey, they're getting a little dysregulated.

I need to help cool them down before this gets out of hand.

Another great example of this would be something like a blanket if you know that your child is more sensitive to textures.

Laying a blanket down on that haystack would have been very helpful for that child.

Or having sunglasses or a hat for the sun.

Really think about what and where your child struggles and how you can support them with that.

Outings ask a lot from a child, and it might take some time to get there, like we talked about that child on air.

But don't give up.

Don't give up on giving them these experiences and as having these experiences as a family.

Of course, if you're not into it, you do you.

But there are ways that you can support them and get them.

Oh, and another one.

Look at sensory friendly events.

There are so many sensory friendly events out there now at museums, at movie theaters, things like that, that help kids be just so much more successful.

OK, I'm going to wrap it up here in my new course, Sensory Made Simple.

There's actually an entire bonus episode with step by step strategies to helping you and your family enjoy family outings together.

But even if you just start with today's tips, you are already making steps in the right direction.

So tip number one, do not force it.

Help them go at their pace.

Number two, start with a soft landing.

Don't go straight from one to the other.

Give them that time with transitions.

Tip three, pack an emergency bag, an emergency kit with things that you know help them.

And number four, look into sensory family events.

I hope you use these tips to have a very successful next family outing, or just mildly more successful family outing.

One little step is a step in the right direction.

I'll see you next time.

Thank you so much for joining me today on Sensory Made Simple.

I hope you're heading off with a little extra confidence and some easy ideas to tackle those sensory struggles head on.

If this episode was helpful or gave you a tip you can't wait to try, it would mean so much if you would share it with a friend or leave a quick review.

It helps more moms like you find the show and support their child too.

And remember, every small step you take makes a big difference for your child.

You've got this and I am cheering you on every step of the way.

See you next time.